Comment 6 for bug 347045

I completely missed that you were using xfce. I apologize. I checked the default settings for gnome and it does not have those presets. (I have included a picture)
The command should be "totem /media/cdrom0" unless you have multiple drives. Also, the command "totem /dev/dvd" will work.

On a side note, if you want to skip the title screens and go straight into a movie, (I am not sure how to with totem...) you can use vlc to select the track. "vlc /dev/dvd@1" where one is the track (all the movies I have tried have started at 1)

hope this helps